clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right

I very nearly became Travelling, But Not In Love again this last weekend. A single status very nearly was mine.

Why? Well, it wasn’t me, it wasn’t le FP. It was all the other fuckers. We fell out with everybody this weekend. Every. Body.

It started with people ringing at 4am – yes, 4am. A crazy girlfriend of le FP who wanted to know why he was calling her, hiding her number and then hanging up every time she answered. The fact that the number was hidden didn’t make her think it could be someone else? Why she decided it was le FP we don’t know.

Suffice to say, she was drunk at the time.

Then I got a call from a friend of le FP who wanted to know why I’d paid for a ticket for the opera for him. I didn’t pay for his ticket – it was given to le FP as a complimentary ticket by a mutual friend that we had dinner with in the week.

Alas, the friend that we’d given the ticket to wouldn’t believe – refused to believe – that it was a freebie and was desperate to re-imburse me. The fact that the ticket said “Value – comp.” didn’t sway him in any way.

He decided that he wouldn’t use the ticket and that he’d tear it up and post it to us rather than have to feel grateful. Nice.

Then a friend that I’d offered to lend money to (so that he could buy his boyfriend a birthday present) had been trying to get hold of me. Alas, as I work, I’m not available to meet him during the day to hand the cash over.

He took this as a snub and as proof of my lack of willingness to lend him the dosh. He decided he didn’t need a friend who didn’t trust him.

And so it went.

All weekend.

By sunday afternoon we’d had enough. We went and hid in bed. We passed the afternoon sleeping, watching dvds, being romantic (blush) and so on. It was lovely.

By the time the evening started to set in I’d almost forgotten the ridiculousness of the weekend.

Feeling relaxed and loved, I rang my mother for our usual Sunday evening chat.

“Let me read this letter to you,” she started. It was a letter from her best friend.

She began to read….

“Never in all of my days have I ever encountered someone so selfish, self-absorbed and lacking in feeling as you. I only have feelings of disgust when I think of how you have used and abused my friendship over the years……”

….and so it went, on, and on, and on.

Seems like the crazy has been contagious this weekend.

My goodness, let’s hope that it passes quickly.